June 2012
come on has anyone ever actually used the word benign validly in a sentence
i am eight but i will soon benign
i appreciate the joke
but yeah i use this word a lot
so
why did you hate senior ball?
a) i hate 98% of my grade so watching them take annoying myspace pictures in overly expensive gowns does not top my list of favorite activities b) we had it in san francisco’s city hall and everyone was SO DISRESPECTFUL, like they were taking pictures of themselves vamping with the busts of harvey milk and george moscone and i’m like hi you know they were both ASSASSINATED in this building but okay c) as pretty as city hall is, when you add a terrible and horrifyingly loud band all it is is a giant echoing cavern of deafenin sound d) it cost all this money that i frankly didn’t have and felt like a huge waste e) the food sucked f) did i mention i hate everyone in my grade. in conclusion, it was the worst. sorry if you go to my school which you obviously do. i’m sure i don’t hate you, just everyone else…
how to kiss
[step 1] open your mouth as wide as possible. make sure to stick out your tongue as far as you can, too, since kisses are like, 90% that thing
[step 2] find someone to kiss. you will know they want to kiss because their tongue will also be extended at full length
[step 3] move in for the kill
It’s just science.
-Anna
Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’.
plot twist: Johnny Depp is played by Helena Bonham Carter
